What She Left Us Read online

  Chapter 12

  When Jenna and Courtney got off the plane the very first time they went to see their father the summer after he moved to Chicago, they had no idea what to expect from the visit. They certainly hadn’t expected to see their Aunt Helena either.

  “What the hell?” Jenna whispered to eleven-year-old Courtney as they walked toward their father and an eccentric looking woman standing next to him.

  “Bad word,” said Courtney, who was still very much a little kid.

  “Who cares,” Jenna spat. “What is she doing here?”

  “Who is it?” Courtney asked.

  “That’s our Aunt Helena. You met her once, a long time ago.”

  “I don’t remember her.”

  “Yeah, because she’s kind of crazy, that’s why.”

  “She doesn’t look crazy.”

  “Well, she is.”

  From the distance, their dad waved while the woman next to him stood by. Her eyes were dark and she wore black clothing but had a pretty blue scarf around her neck. She seemed small next to their father, and Jenna whispered to Courtney, “She was really weird. Like she was all spacey and didn’t talk much. Mom doesn’t like her.”

  “Maybe she’s different now,” Courtney said. “Hey, didn’t she take us for ice cream before? Now I remember her a little bit! I thought she was nice!”

  “We’ll see, but don’t count on it. Weird people are always weird.”

  “You’re weird but I love you,” Courtney said.

  “Shut up brat. Here they come,” Jenna whispered.

  When the girls met up with their father and Aunt Helena, their dad said, “Girls, remember your Aunt Helena,” but before either of them could say anything, she knelt down and opened her arms up. Jenna stood there, arms folded across her chest, already annoyed they had to leave home to visit their father, but Courtney moved in for an awkward hug.

  “I’ve been waiting a long time for this. How are you girls! It’s been forever since I’ve seen you! The last time I was at your house was like six years ago!”

  Courtney wiggled out of the hug and smiled, and Jenna hugged her father.

  “Do you girls remember me?” Helena asked.

  “Well…” Jenna began, “I remember, but I don’t know if Courtney does.”

  “I think you took us for ice cream?”

  “I did! We did go for ice cream!” Aunt Helena said as if she won the lottery. “It was wonderful, wasn’t it?! The best time ever! Until now!”

  Courtney and Jenna exchanged worried glances.

  Their dad stepped in. “Helena, that was a while ago. But we’ve got this time to get reacquainted.”

  “Oh Frank!” Helena jumped in. “That’s okay! We’re going to have such a great time together. I’m thrilled to be here with the girls! They’re stunning, they’re beautiful. I can’t wait for all the fun this week! We can do whatever you want! The Ferris wheel, American Girl Doll store, Millennium Park! I’m going to be the best Chicago tour guide you’ll ever have!”

  “Dad, you’ll be around too, right?” Jenna asked.

  “Of course. I’m taking some time off work, not to worry,” he said.

  Helena grabbed both girls and squeezed Jenna and Courtney’s cheeks like they were two-year-olds. “I’m so happy to see you! Come on Frank, let’s go get their luggage!”

  **

  “So, I told you she’s weird, huh?” Jenna asked later that night when they finally got back to their dad’s house and were up in the room he had designated for them. It was a loft area with a pull-out couch. Not much of a room for them, but they were only going to be in Chicago for a week, so it was good enough. Courtney had been excited to get to share with Jenna. Jenna, not so much.

  “I think she’s nice,” Courtney said.

  “Whatever.”

  “You’re not very nice,” Courtney said.

  “Maybe she escaped from jail,” Jenna said. “And Dad’s hiding her here so she doesn’t have to go back!”

  “It’s weird to think that she’s Daddy’s sister.” Courtney said. “They seem so different. And she’s lots younger than Daddy.”

  “Well, at least she’ll take us places this week while Dad’s at work. She said she’ll take us on the Ferris wheel, and that she’ll take you to American Girl.”

  “Yeah, Daddy would never take us to those places, so that will be fun,” Courtney said. “And we’ve never had an aunt before.”

  “Maybe she’s not all that weird,” Jenna said. “Maybe I’m not used to her,” Jenna admitted. “I don’t know what it’s like to hang out with an aunt, or what they’re supposed to do.”

  “I think they’re supposed to buy us lots of things!” Courtney said.

  “She seemed a little overly excited to see us. When she doesn’t even know anything about us. Weird.”

  Chapter 13

  Courtney turned the corner and there he was.

  “Whoa! You scared me!” she said to Mitch.

  “How so? I live here too,” he laughed.

  “I don’t know. I expected everyone to be off the floor, you know, parent’s weekend and all.”

  “Yeah, well, some of us don’t invite our parents up for the weekend.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Nah, just kidding. My parents couldn’t make it. They had something to do for one of my sisters.” Mitch said.

  “Oh that’s a bummer,” Courtney said.

  “It’s typical.”

  It was then she noticed he had his guitar slung on his back. “Where are you headed?” she asked.

  “I was going to grab lunch and then go find a place to play.” He looked at her thoughtfully, then touched her cheek. God, those eyelashes weakened her knees and short-circuited her brain.

  They had passed one another in the hall a few times since the night she had been in his room until three, and he joined her at dinner in the cafeteria one night. Other than that, Courtney had been afraid he wasn’t interested in her.

  She desperately wanted him to be interested in her.

  “So, you in the mood for lunch?” he asked.

  “Sure,” she hesitated, “if you want company.”

  “I’ve been looking for a reason to get together. I don’t know how it works with the RA. You know? If students are allowed to… ”

  “Yeah, I’m not sure how that works either,” Courtney admitted. “I might have to find out, you know, if it were to come to that.”

  “I might like for it to ‘come to that,’” Mitch grinned.

  Courtney got that low familiar ache in her stomach, that rumble of butterflies, and then he put his hand on her shoulder and led her to the elevator.

  “Going down?” he smirked.

  “Yes,” she laughed.

  The doors opened and, with his hand still lightly on her shoulder, he led her into the empty elevator. Once the doors closed, Mitch moved her swiftly to the corner, so as not to waste time, she guessed, and he kissed her. Gently at first, and she could taste peppermint on his tongue and she inhaled deeply and he pressed his body against hers and she closed her eyes and lived in the moment of the elevator kiss. Both hands were on her shoulders pressing her firmly against the wall of the elevator, and then he moved a hand to her neck just behind her ear, softly touching her, causing her skin to prickle. She kissed him back, wishing the elevator would get stuck between floors three and forever.

  When the doors opened to the lobby, he pulled away from her, his arms still on her shoulders and he looked at her.

  “Wow,” Mitch said, “that was some elevator ride.”

  He took her hand and she followed him out, saying nothing at all, but thinking everything.

  **

  When they got outside into the bright fall sunlight, Courtney finally caught her breath and got her words back. She asked, “So, what was that?”

  “That, Courtney,” Mitch said, “is what I have been dying to do since that first night you knocked on my door and stayed until three. Nah, that’s a lie. I�
��ve been dying to do that since I first laid eyes on you at orientation. When you first said that you’re not going to take any crap from kids who aren’t following the rules, and there are no second chances and that just because you are a female RA you are not afraid to write up anyone.”

  She smiled at him.

  “So was that okay that I did that?” he asked.

  “More than okay,” she said.

  “Good,” he grabbed her hand and they made their way through campus up to the deli to grab sandwiches. Courtney squinted as the sun came through the fiery oranges and yellows of the fall trees.

  “You should have brought sunglasses, and you should have brought your drawing pencils,” Mitch said thoughtfully.

  “I haven’t drawn in forever. Besides, I really wasn’t planning on being hijacked today,” Courtney laughed, crunching her boots on fallen leaves. “Anyway, drawing trees and leaves are so overdone.”

  “So, what’s your thing to draw?” he asked.

  “I’d probably like to do you,” and then she laughed, catching herself. “Sketch you, I mean.”

  “Sure, sure, anytime you want to ‘do’ me, let me know. I’m all yours,” Mitch said.

  “Is this getting too deep, too fast?”

  “That’s what she said,” Mitch said.

  “Oh God, you’re not an Office fan too, are you?”

  “Gotta love Michael Scott. That show went to shit when Steve Carell left though.”

  “It sure did,” Courtney agreed.

  When they arrived at Stu’s Sandwich Shoppe, they ordered turkey and cheese subs, and when Mitch ordered his with grilled onions, Courtney grimaced.

  “Skip the onions,” he said to the guy behind the counter.

  “You sure you want to do that?” Courtney teased.

  “If that means more of what went on in the elevator, I’ll skip them.”

  After lunch, Mitch took Courtney to a spot on campus she had never been to – a little lagoon area hidden away behind the music building. There was a small bridge that led to a gazebo settled right into the middle of the lagoon. Swans and ducklings swam in the water, and sunlight trickled through the trees. The fall breeze was crisp and it was just enough of an Indian summer day that the warmth of Courtney’s sweater was perfect for the day’s temperatures.

  “Okay, how is this your first couple months on campus, but you know of this place?” Courtney asked.

  “It’s where all the stoner musicians come to get high before classes,” Mitch laughed.

  Courtney smiled, pretty sure he was joking.

  “Come on, let’s go to the gazebo.” They walked over the bridge. “Seriously though, they do wedding ceremonies out here sometimes, and college events. I’m surprised it’s so quiet out here today since it’s parent’s weekend, but I think most of the events were being held over on the south side of campus. There’s like no one out here.”

  “I know,” Courtney said. “It’s a good thing I trust you.”

  “You do?”

  “Well, kind of. I mean, I’m in charge of you. They’ll know if you kill me that it was you.”

  “Not really. No one saw you leave with me.”

  “Uh, yeah, everyone saw you kiss me in the elevator. There are cameras in there,” Courtney replied.

  “Oh shit. Well, now that they've got video, I guess you better figure it out if you and I are allowed to be doing this,” Mitch said.

  They reached the gazebo and sat down on the benches inside. Mitch unzipped his guitar and grabbed the neck of it, and was tuning it up.

  “Doing what?” Courtney asked.

  “This,” Mitch said.

  He put his guitar down, leaned over to Courtney and kissed her. While for the immediate moment, the music was forgotten, Courtney felt like she was hearing music all around her. He moved her on the bench so that he was positioned over her as he kissed her, and even though it wasn’t the most comfortable place to be, Courtney didn’t want to be anywhere else.

  They kissed for a long while, his hands moving all over her body, and Courtney was heating up, her sweater no longer needed. Still, he didn’t go any further, just kept kissing her, and moving his hands along the length of her body. She shifted a bit and lifted her knee up between his legs and felt the hardness of him, his body strong and lean. She ran her hands under his shirt, felt his firm muscles, the smoothness of his skin. She didn't want to stop kissing him. She had never had anyone kiss her like this before. It was as if that was all he wanted to do, that he was content with just this. This touching and kissing. It felt amazing.

  Mitch looked into her eyes. “You’re very pretty Courtney,” he said, “And not only that, I like you.” He smiled down at her, and moved her hair from her face.

  She whispered, “Thank you. I like you too.”

  “Can I play some music for you?”

  “Anything you want,” she exhaled slowly. “Anything at all.”

  He kissed the tip of her nose, tucked another short piece of her hair behind her ear, helped her up, grabbed his guitar, and began to strum his guitar.

  Chapter 14

  “Court!”Jenna had opened the door to see her little sister with a backpack and an overnight bag. She knew she was coming home for fall break but it was still a surprise to see her. “Oh my gosh, you look so great!” Courtney dropped her bags and pulled her in for a huge hug.

  “I can’t believe how much I’ve missed you. Two and a half months is really too long to go without seeing you,” Courtney said. “It’s ridiculous!”

  They pulled apart and looked at one another, then Courtney said, “You’ve lost weight. Like a lot.”

  “Just a few pounds.”

  “No, more than that. What’s going on,” Courtney asked suspiciously. Jenna could never keep anything from Courtney once they were face to face.

  “Truth?”

  “Of course truth. We’re sisters.” Courtney eyed Jenna. “Is it because of Mom still? Are you having a harder time than you’re letting on?”

  Courtney and Jenna had moved into the apartment and Courtney took over. She went into the kitchen and pulled out the orange juice, opened it, and sniffed it to make sure it was still good. “Do you have anything good to eat? Probably not, with the way you’re looking these days huh?”

  “There’s some chips and salsa in the cabinet.”

  “Any cookies?”

  “No, I don't have any cookies.”

  “Okay,” Courtney grabbed two glasses, filled them with orange juice, led Jenna to the breakfast table, and they sat. She was feeling very adult, probably because she was getting so used to the RA gig, and dealing with everyone else’s problems. “What’s going on?”

  Jenna looked at her sister, wondering where to begin, and then she lost it, burst into tears. Courtney hadn’t expected this response from her sister at all. In fact, it completely stunned her.

  “Hey, hey. Oh honey, what’s going on? Oh come on, don’t cry. Are things that bad? It’s okay, you can tell me. Oh, I’m so sorry I haven’t been here for you.”

  Jenna cried and cried. Courtney moved her chair next to hers, and put her arms around her sister. She let her cry until she was ready to talk.

  Finally, Jenna sniffled. “So, there are a couple of things going on.”

  “Okay, you ready to tell me?” Courtney asked.

  “Darren and I broke up.”

  “What? When!?”

  “Right after Mom’s funeral.”

  “Are you kidding me?! How could that asshole do this to you! Oh my God, I’m going to kill—”

  “Court, it was me. I broke off the engagement.”

  “How could you? Why? You love him? You still love him, don’t you? Are you insane?”

  “I don’t know,” Jenna said, in between soft sobs. “I’ve only talked with him like twice since then. He won’t really take my calls. I don’t know really what I want. I love him, but I don’t think I love him enough to marry him. I know that sounds completely effed up. I’m c
ompletely messed up. I think I need a therapist.”

  “Oh Jenna.”

  “I don’t know why I did it. It was like three days after Mom’s funeral. I had been crying non-stop. He was being wonderful. You know how he was. Hell, he practically chose Mom’s casket. He was by my side for everything. So he went home that night, probably just to shower and get a change of clothes. I can only imagine how tough the whole ordeal was on him. He adored Mom. He loved her to death, and she loved him like he was the son she had always wanted.

  “Well, he was gone for maybe six hours. I went to sleep, slept for maybe three hours, woke up, and my engagement ring had made an indentation on my cheek. I went into my bathroom, splashed water all over my face. There were circles under my eyes. I was a huge mess. I think you were asleep in my guest room. You must have been. I don’t know where else you could have been. I doubt you were at Mom’s. Those were the first few days. Neither of us wanted to be there. I still hate going over there. By the way, we have to, you know, get over there. Soon.”

  Courtney nodded.

  “Anyway, I got up, had horrible dreams, but felt like they were messages of some sort, and the ring indented itself into my cheek. I washed my face, and thought, ‘Is this what I really want? Could Darren love me forever?’ And I thought, ‘No.’”

  Courtney looked at her sister like she was completely delirious. Like she was back in that moment, in the days after her mother had died, when nothing made sense. She couldn’t believe that Darren would have taken the ring back just like that. Like their relationship had meant that little to him, like her family had meant that little to him that he would have taken the ring back and said, “Okay, I’ll not be committed to you any longer. It’s no big deal that your mother died three days ago and I’m okay with you giving me the ring back, and I know you’re delirious and not thinking straight right now.” That didn’t sound like Darren, Courtney thought. There had to be more to this, there just had to be.

  “So, I gave him the ring back,” Jenna said, “I told him I couldn’t do it. And he didn’t even try to fight it. He didn’t even ask me why. He didn’t even ask me to think about it. He let me turn away and walk out.”

  Courtney didn’t know what to say to her sister. So instead, she said, “I can’t believe you kept it from me the whole summer. I can’t believe I didn’t know.”