What She Left Us Read online

  “Nice Remy.” And then Courtney said, “Don’t you have a report or something to get to?”

  “Or something.” He tucked the football under his arm.

  Courtney dropped her suitcase in front of her door and pulled out her keys. A couple more students rushed behind her and said, “Hey Court!”

  She said over her shoulder, “Hey guys” even though she had no idea which students greeted her.

  “Need help with that?” Mitch brushed up against her, pressing into her body, and pressed his lips gently on the back of her neck. “How are you?”

  Courtney’s knees went weak and Mitch’s arms slipped around her waist.

  “Whoa there, you okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” her breath caught in her throat. You surprised me, that’s all.”

  “Here, give me your keys.” He whispered into her ear. The hall was empty now, which was good because Courtney didn’t need any of the other students seeing the two of them like this. She moved to the side, but looked up at Mitch. He kept his arm around her, which was also good because she seriously felt as if she might fall over from his touch.

  “It’s good to see you. I’ve wanted to see you,” he said. “This texting is bullshit. It was a long time to be away from you.”

  He opened the door, let go of her for just a second, and tossed her suitcase into the room. She followed him in, he closed the door, and locked it.

  Before she knew what was happening, he had her up against the door, and his hands were in her hair, and he kissed her neck, inhaling all of her.

  “Oh God, you smell so good. Your hair… I can’t tell you how much I thought of you when you were gone,” he said.

  “Really?” she asked.

  He stopped kissing. “Really. The whole time.” He moved to kiss her again, and then stopped. “Are you good with this?”

  She looked into his eyes, thinking that he was pretty perfect and that it was going to be perfect. Whatever was going to happen, she trusted him.

  “I’m good with this,” she said.

  Then his lips were back on hers and he intertwined his fingers through hers. They were still up against the door and he leaned into her. Her back was flat against the door, he held her hands tightly, and he caressed her fingertips as he kissed her. He raised her arms above her head and kissed her soft, insistent. The sensations were too much and Courtney moaned. Mitch moved away from her face, just a few inches. Their hands were still clasped together, raised above their heads. He kept touching the pads of her fingertips, as if they were guitar strings. He was playing her. Lightly.

  “You okay?”

  “Yes.”

  They kissed some more. Mitch let go of one of her hands and moved his hand down the side of her body, slowly following the curve of her breast, and then rested his hand on her hip. He lifted the bottom edge of her shirt, slipped his thumb into the side of her jeans and caressed the soft skin of her hip. He moved his other hand to the back of her neck and pulled her closer.

  Courtney felt dizzy, and just as she was about to tell him she had to sit, he picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck; her legs tight around his firm hips. She could feel the strong muscles in his back, and she could also feel that he was as excited to be there with her as she was to be with him.

  He stopped for a second in the tiny room, and searched her eyes. “For the record, I don’t go around doing this with every RA.”

  “Good to know. Just so you know, this isn’t my usual MO either.”

  “Good. Now that that’s cleared up… ”

  He spun Courtney around and dropped her onto her bed. Courtney landed less than glamorously. But before there was time to react, Mitch clicked on the iPod, and settled himself gently on top of her. The room was filled with music and he smiled down at her.

  “Hey there.”

  “Long time,” she giggled. “So.”

  “So, where were we?” he asked.

  “I’m kind of nervous,” she admitted.

  “You are? That’s kind of completely adorable,” Mitch traced a line along her cheek to her collarbone. Courtney shivered.

  “I’m being serious,” she said.

  “We don’t have to do anything,” Mitch said. “I mean, anything more than this.”

  “I want to.”

  “Then we can.”

  Courtney couldn’t believe she was acting this way. Here she was, with a guy she finally had serious feelings for, someone she was completely attracted to, and she was scared. Is this what was supposed to happen? What was she scared of? Of getting hurt, that’s what she was scared of.

  She thought of her sister, how she and Darren were no longer together, and how Jenna had given him everything, how they were supposed to get married, and now… now her sister had nothing. All of that and it had all been for absolutely nothing.

  “Court, if you’re scared of getting pregnant, I have a condom.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah. I was kind of hoping… ”

  “Wow.”

  “Is that bad of me?”

  “No. I guess… I think I was kind of hoping too.”

  He smiled, and then touched her face so softly, she felt like crying. She did trust him. She wanted this. She wanted him.

  She reached for Mitch, completely sure about what they were going to do.

  Chapter 27

  Dr. Rhetler opened Jenna’s blood test results and shook her head. She never liked getting a positive result, especially on patients so young.

  “At least we caught it at the early stages and the girls will only have to go through the series of bloodletting until they get their iron counts down,” she said to Dee. “That should be all they’ll need to do for the foreseeable future. Of course, down the road, it’s hard to say, as they get older. But this is relatively good news.”

  Dee nodded.

  “You’re writing this all down?” Dr. Rhetler asked.

  “Yes, Dr. Rhetler.” Dee grabbed a pen.

  “Where are her sister's results?”

  “Dr. Koling is doing a comparative study for a conference he's keynoting so Lissa brought him some files. Her sister's file must be with the stack Lissa took to him. She said she'd return them all in the morning.”

  “Okay. So, call Jenna, let the girls know they’ll need to have one pint of blood removed twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays, for the next two to four months. They can have this done at the hospital of their choice. We’ll retest the end of the year to see how their counts are.”

  “Gotcha.”

  When Jenna's cell rang and she saw it was Dr. Rhetler's office, her heart skipped a beat.

  "Hello?"

  “Jenna, this is Dee from Dr. Rhetler’s office.”

  “Not good news?” Jenna said immediately. She had been moping in her apartment since Courtney had left the week before, anticipating the phone call.

  “It’s not horrible, but yes, you and Courtney have tested positive.”

  Jenna felt her world drop from under her. Breathe, Jenna, breathe.

  “What exactly does this mean?” Stay calm, stay calm.

  “Okay, so really, in the cases of hemochromatosis, it’s really not that bad. You and Courtney will need to have a pint of blood removed only twice a week for two to four months, on Mondays and Thursdays.”

  “Twice a week!” Jenna yelled into the phone.

  “Now I know that sounds like a lot, but Jenna, think of it this way, like, like car maintenance,” Dee said. “Almost as if you’re getting an oil change.” Dee knew that Dr. Rhetler would not exactly approve of her describing bloodletting to her patients this way, but it really made sense when explained like this.

  Jenna wasn’t buying it. “I do not appreciate you comparing my health and my body to a Subaru.”

  “I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to explain it the best as I can. You’ll have to start right away. We have tracking charts that you’ll need to take to whichever facility you choose. You can go
to any hospital you’d like to go to. Your blood is still good, and healthy. This is a good opportunity for you to donate blood if you’d like to. It can help save lives in the process.”

  Jenna stopped listening. She needed to figure out what was next. She wanted Darren there. She wished more than anything that she had Darren there. She wanted to get off the phone with this Dee woman and be with Darren no matter what the consequences would be, she didn’t give a damn.

  “And so then you’ll have to come in later for a follow-up.”

  “When do we have to start this vampire bullshit?”

  “Darling it’s–”

  “Please don’t call me darling.”

  “I’m sorry. I realize this is a big shock.”

  “I don’t mean to be rude, Dee, but the past half a year has been a big shock, so this is just the icing on the cake.”

  “Again, I apologize. You and your sister should have a pint of blood drawn twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays, beginning this Thursday. Can you stop by Dr. Rhetler’s office in the next day or two to get the charts you’ll need to take to the facility of your choice?”

  “Yes. And you said we can get this done anywhere, right?”

  “Yes, anywhere.”

  “Fine. I’ll be there tomorrow to get the charts.”

  Chapter 28

  Jenna was numb. She didn’t know how she was going to tell Courtney. But she figured if anything, Courtney would talk her off the ledge. Courtney lately was the one who seemed so in control of things. Still, she wasn’t going to call her today. Right now, she was walking up the steps of Darren’s condo, the one where she was supposed to be moving into after they were going to be married.

  She walked with determination, her head held high. She wasn’t sure what she was going to say, just knew that she needed to see him, wanted to talk to him, had an urge so strong, a pull that was driving her to him.

  She couldn’t believe she had shut him out of her life like she had. She knew now that she had gone a little bit insane. She was convinced that she had had a mental breakdown and those first few months after her mother died she had walked around in a state of mind that was on the verge of being crazy.

  When she really thought about it, she couldn’t even remember what she had done those first few months. Right before her mother had died, she had completed a semester of master's classes in environmental studies and had been planning on taking two online courses toward her degree over the summer. But there was no way she could concentrate on the environment when her mother had just died. What did she do? She couldn’t remember. She truly didn’t know. Those few months seem to be erased from her memory. She knew she slept a lot. She took a lot of sleeping pills to erase the grief of losing her mother. Maybe Darren had wanted to be there for her? She completely shut him out of her life. Maybe he truly hated her. She had to find out. Her life was unraveling.

  Darren had been so good to her. Loving her the way he had. She hadn’t deserved him.

  When he had asked her to marry him, there had been no hesitation. They were sure about it, sure about one another. It hadn’t been a hokey engagement, there wasn’t any ring hidden in a dessert or a fake-out gift or anything like that. But it had been perfect. Exactly as she had hoped it would have been.

  They had been out having dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant, and then they took a walk along the waterfront when he stopped her along the path.

  “So you ready?” he asked her.

  “Ready for what?”

  “To do this thing.” he said.

  “What thing? Dessert?” she laughed. “I’m still stuffed from dinner!”

  “No,” he smiled at her. “You goof. This ‘Mrs.’ Thing. You’re ready, don’t you think?”

  They had been talking about it forever, so she knew what he meant. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m game.”

  “How about now?”

  “Now?”

  “Like right now.”

  Her eyes got wide and Darren made a move to get on one knee.

  “You are not doing this here. Really? You’re doing this? Here? Oh my… Wow.”

  Jenna put her hands over her face in an embarrassed shock gesture.

  On one knee, Darren pulled out a ring, no box, just a platinum ring with a square diamond, held onto his pinky finger.

  “I’m doing this here. If you want me to?” His smile was as big as the world it seemed to Jenna.

  “Yes! Yes!” Jenna said.

  “I didn’t ask you anything yet,” Darren said.

  “Okay, okay!” she squealed. "Ask! Ask!"

  He moved her so she was sitting on his bended knee, under the lamppost light, while others strolled by slowly to watch their engagement unfold.

  “So, Ms. Jenna Haddonfield,” Darren began, “Will you make me the happiest man in the entire world by becoming my wife?”

  “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

  He slipped the ring onto her finger, and she put her arms around his neck. He picked her up and lifted her up to meet his lips in a perfect kiss.

  People around them stared and smiled. A couple walking a pair of pugs clapped, and Jenna remembered grinning at the dogs, and then at their owners, so happy that night, everything perfect in her world. She was getting married.

  “Can we get dessert now?” she laughed.

  That seemed like eons ago as Jenna approached Darren’s front door, and she hesitated for just a moment, wistful and sad, thinking about those pugs, and then she rang the bell. She wished more than anything she could inject those feelings they had back at that moment into Darren, and that they could relive those times, get back to that place. She wanted to be back there, to start over, before her mom died, before this new diagnosis, before everything in the entire world went to shit.

  She rang the bell, and no one came.

  She rang the bell again, and finally she heard heavy footsteps.

  The door opened and there was Darren.

  Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. Perfect, familiar Darren, the love of her life. How could she have let him go?

  “Jenna. Hi.”

  “Hi.” Seeing him brought all those feelings to the surface, and she thought she might cry right then and there, but she tried to keep it together. “Hi. Um. Do you have a few?”

  “I kind of have company.”

  She swallowed, a pitted feeling forming in her stomach. “Company?”

  Then, from inside of the condo, toward the back, in the kitchen, Jenna heard her. “Dare, who is it?”

  Jenna’s face fell.

  Dare?

  “She’s just a friend. From work. We’re on shift together.” Darren said.

  “Sure. Yeah, okay.”

  She finally exhaled. She hadn't realized she wasn't breathing.

  That’s when Jenna made a decision. There had been an idea, a tiny speck of an inkling making its way in the back of her mind for a little while. After her mother died, and then the diagnosis came along, the idea that had been forming for a while began to grow. Seeing Darren – in his plain white T-shirt, familiar khaki shorts with the frayed edges, day-old scruff along the cheeks she used to kiss – seeing him there like that brought her idea to completion. For however well she thought she knew him, maybe she didn’t know him at all. Her mind was made up.

  She took a deep breath, removed her sunglasses from her face and placed them on top of her head. She wanted Darren to be able to look her in the eyes when she told him this. For him to see she wasn’t kidding around, that she was dead serious. Because this was going to be his last chance. His last chance to make it right if he ever wanted to. The thought of another woman roaming around in his house, opening kitchen drawers and taking out the whisk that she bought, grabbing orange juice from the fridge – doing things in there that she should have been doing – well, that was enough to make Jenna sure that what she was going to say was the right thing to say.

  “I came by to let you know I’m moving. I’m going to live near Cour
tney. She and I both have the disease that Mom died from and I’m going to go be with her. I thought you’d want to know. Blood’s apparently thicker than water and it’s obvious now that you never gave a damn about me.”

  And with that, Jenna turned on her heels and walked out of Darren's life.

  Chapter 29

  “Do you want another slice?” Mitch and Courtney were on his bed, books strewn everywhere, and a half-eaten pizza lay in the midst of the mess.

  “Half a piece,” Courtney said, and rubbed her stomach.

  “I think you’re good for a whole piece,” Mitch grinned.

  She grabbed the slice of tomato spinach he held out to her. “How do you know me this well already?” It had only been a week since she got back from fall break, and they were already practically inseparable. Everyone on the dorm floor had their suspicions, and Courtney had to inform her supervisor of their relationship. Before she did though, she talked with Mitch about it. It had been one of those first late nights, when they were laying in her bed, his arm tight around her, she tucked into the crook of his, the length of her body warm against his.

  “So, what exactly is going on with us?” she asked.

  “You tell me,” he said.

  “Um, I like to hear it from the guy,” Courtney said.

  “Well, I’m not interested in hanging out with anyone else, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m kinda wondering. Okay,” Courtney sighed.

  “Okay then. You happy?” he asked.

  She rolled over on top of him, only a sheet covered her, and he grabbed her at the waist.

  “Yep. I’m happy.” She leaned over him and kissed his face, her bangs tickling his forehead. He swept them away and touched her eyebrows, then caressed her bare shoulder.

  “I do have to tell the head of the department though,” Courtney said. “There’s something in the rule book about dating students.”

  “Who says anything about dating?”

  “Hey!” She smacked his naked chest.

  “Oh so now you’re into S&M?” Mitch said.

  “Me and Rihanna.”

  “No, that’s cool. Tell whoever you’ve got to tell. I wonder how these morons are going to react?” He motioned his arm toward the door.